Sometimes, We Need to Let Go to Move Forward
During Covid I got to experience a new self that spent a lot of time alone, which helped me to grow in many ways, it also gave me a lot of time to reflect and write. Writing my blog each week gave me a space to feel my true self behind a screen of words, and for a person who always was afraid to write, afraid of not being good enough, I found joy in the very thing I was afraid of. Following on from this I felt the courage I had needed to take the leap and pursue my MSc in Pluralistic Counselling and Psychotherapy. The last 3 years have been filled with many different learning experiences, some good, some heart wrenching and some ‘what else can you throw at me life’ moments, all of which have brought me back here to writing again.
No one goes through life events unchanged, so, growth is where my writing starts again……
In life, we often hear about following our passions, embracing what brings us joy, and leaning into the things that make us feel alive. And while there is profound wisdom in that, sometimes real growth requires us to do something counterintuitive: step away from the very things that light us up. Whether it’s in our academic, professional, or personal lives, the journey to becoming our fullest selves sometimes means creating space for new challenges, even if that means temporarily letting go of what we hold dear.
The Comfort Zone Conundrum
The concept of the comfort zone is familiar to all of us. It’s that cozy space where we feel safe and secure, where our routines are predictable, and where we’re often surrounded by things that bring us happiness. But here’s the catch: the comfort zone, while pleasant, can also be a trap. It’s easy to stay put, to bask in the glow of what we know and love. However, growth doesn’t happen when we stay in one place. It happens when we stretch ourselves beyond the familiar.
This might mean putting a hobby on pause to focus on advancing academically or stepping away from a job that once fueled your passion but no longer challenges you. It’s hard, and at times it feels like a betrayal of your happiness. But just because you’re stepping away doesn’t mean you’re abandoning joy—it simply means you’re making space for new versions of it.
The Pain of Letting Go
There is often a grieving process involved when we step away from something that brings us joy. Maybe it’s a creative pursuit that once served as an outlet but now feels like it’s holding you back from pursuing something new. Perhaps it’s a role that gave you a sense of purpose but now feels limiting. Letting go of these things can feel like losing a part of yourself. But just like with any form of growth, there’s a necessary shedding of the old to make way for the new.
This process is difficult but necessary. Growth often requires sacrifice, and sometimes that sacrifice is a temporary distance from the things you once found fulfilling. But it’s in these uncomfortable spaces that we gain perspective, develop resilience, and discover new strengths.
The Growth in the Gap
Taking a step back doesn’t mean giving up. Often, it’s the space in between where the most profound growth happens. It’s in the gap between what once was and what is yet to come where we learn who we really are. These moments of stepping away create room for reflection, reevaluation, and, ultimately, transformation.
In an academic setting, this could mean turning down social engagements or hobbies to focus on a significant project or study. Professionally, it might mean saying no to roles or opportunities that no longer align with your growth trajectory or taking on new roles outside of your comfort. Personally, it could involve saying goodbye or putting relationships or activities on hold to prioritize your mental health or exploring a new passion.
In each case, the gap creates an opportunity for new insights. It’s where we face discomfort and, in doing so, break through the limitations we’ve unknowingly placed on ourselves. Growth is uncomfortable, but it’s in these uncomfortable moments that we evolve, I know it sounds like a cliché, but it is true.
Returning to Joy with a New Perspective
The beautiful thing about stepping away is that it’s not always permanent. Often, we return to the things we once loved with a fresh perspective and renewed energy. When we take the time to grow in new ways—whether that’s gaining knowledge, building new skills, or deepening our understanding of ourselves—we can come back to the things that bring us joy with more wisdom, balance, and appreciation.
What once felt stagnant may feel vibrant again, and what once felt like an obstacle may now seem like a steppingstone.
Finding Balance in the Journey
The key to this journey is balance. Growth isn’t about completely severing ties with what brings you joy—it’s about knowing when to lean in and when to pull back. It’s about giving yourself permission to evolve without feeling guilty for stepping away from something you once loved.
It’s important to remember that stepping away is not a failure; it’s an intentional decision to prioritize growth. When you allow yourself the freedom to explore new avenues, you open yourself up to greater possibilities. You’ll grow not only in your academic and professional pursuits but also in your understanding of what truly brings you fulfillment.
Ten Tips to get started
- Set Clear Goals – Define what you want to achieve in specific, measurable terms. This gives you a target to work toward and keeps you focused.
- Embrace Lifelong Learning – Commit to learning continuously, whether it’s through courses, books, or self-reflection. Growth happens when we expand our minds.
- Practice Self-Reflection – Regularly assess your actions, thoughts, and decisions. Self-awareness is key to understanding your strengths and areas for improvement.
- Step Out of Your Comfort Zone – Challenge yourself by trying new experiences. Growth often happens when you push past your usual boundaries.
- Seek Constructive Feedback – Don’t be afraid to ask others for their perspective on your progress. Constructive criticism helps refine your skills and understanding.
- Stay Consistent – Progress takes time, so establish habits that align with your goals and stick to them, even on challenging days.
- Cultivate a Positive Mindset – Focus on solutions instead of problems, and practice gratitude. A positive outlook boosts resilience and adaptability.
- Surround Yourself with Growth-Oriented People – Build a network of individuals who inspire, support, and motivate you to keep moving forward.
- Prioritize Physical and Mental Wellbeing – Take care of your health to maintain energy and focus. Good physical and mental health are essential for sustained growth.
- Celebrate Small Wins – Acknowledge each step you achieve, no matter how minor. Recognizing progress keeps you motivated on your growth journey.
Final Thoughts
Growth is a paradox. Sometimes, to move forward, we must step back. We must temporarily set aside the things that bring us joy to pursue new challenges, explore new possibilities, and grow in ways we never imagined. The journey is never linear, and it’s rarely easy, but it’s always worth it. Remember, the things that bring you joy will be waiting for you when you return—this time, with new strength, perspective, and a deeper sense of purpose.
It has been a challenging three years for me, personally, professionally, academically and in general life, so taking a break from writing and focusing on myself was needed at the time. This post is general in many ways as I wanted to tie up different angles of growth and why the thing that scares you the most is the step forward that can bring you so much joy. So, I will leave you with the thought of what can you do today for you.…
