I have written a post before about falling in love with yourself, it would have been a perfect post for today but I think this one will be even better. For those that know me at all, I am not generally the hearts and over display of affections sort of person. That being said Valentine’s is one of my favourite times of the year, and I have spent most of my life single on Valentine’s day so it is not that I morph into a different person for this day. I love the chaos of men mostly rushing and going over the top with flowers and chocolates to express their love for someone at about 4 times the cost than any other time. I remember having a conversation with a male friend on one Valentine’s day about how down he was because he was single and it was Valentine’s day, as if, when you are single you are put under a microscope and looked upon like there was something wrong with you.
But this is not what valentines is all about!!
I remember when I was in University I decided to send my friend a card from someone anonymous, to make her feel special, my father asked me what I was doing and being the traditional kind of man that he is I thought he would find what I was doing stupid. Instead, he told me how great it was as that is what Valentine’s is all about showing love for someone you care about and even in a platonic way.
Believe it or not, Valentine’s Day started off as a Christian Holiday celebrating St. Valentine’s, it was celebrated for 100’s of years until it was removed as there were discrepancies to which saint it was referring to and why they were given the day in the first place.
I think the most connectable story is that of Valentine who was a Roman priest, who performed weddings when soldiers had been forbidden to marry because the Roman emperor at the time felt married soldiers did not make the best warriors. Saint Valentine wore a ring with Cupid on it so that young couples would recognise it was him.
Another story tells about the pagan festival of Lupercalia that happens on the 15th of February and that this is where the rituals of Valentine’s day comes from. Unlike Valentine’s Day, however, Lupercalia was filled with rituals like animal sacrifices and random matchmaking in the hopes of warding off evil spirits and infertility.
With so much unknown Valentine’s day it is what you make of it and the card/flowers/chocolates and restaurant companies have made a wild fantastical thing, making people believe that they have to show their love with flowers and everything else on this day. It is a day like no other, but it should not be a day that those who are single or for anyone, to feel less valued or loved. In preparing this post I looked up many posts and articles about what you should do if you are single on Valentine’s Day and I was surprised about how many of them talked about figuring out who your perfect partner is and doing things to achieve this.
No, sorry if this is what you were looking for today from me, but none of us need that extra pressure today or any day to be honest. I have had too many conversations with people that I do not know personally, lately and one of their top questions is ‘are you married’. We are all unique and have our own paths to take when it comes to life and love, and I believe we need to stop labelling ourselves how we believe we should be by our relationship status and put that energy into ourselves. If you are reading this and had had a thought about feeling down because of the relationship you are not in, I want you to say ‘so what, whatever is for me will not pass me by’ and spend your Valentines Day doing something you really want to do, I know some of us are restricted at the moment but make something happen for you today.
I dated someone before that I really wanted to bring horse-riding and they kept putting off the idea so the first thing I did when it ended was I booked to go horse-riding by myself and it was the most uplifting thing I could have done at that point for myself. I could have always gone by myself before, but getting into nature in whatever way you can is always a positive in any circumstances. I have included a list of things that you can do but at the end of the day it is your day, take what you want and make the most of your day the way you want to.
- For those who are not working today, have a lie-in
- Have your favourite breakfast in bed or if you can and want to go out, go for a nice breakfast
- Read a book
- Paint
- Watch your favourite movie
- Have a virtual dinner date with your bestie
- Share your love with someone else, I plan to make little treats for nephews to let them know they are special to me, but this can be done with messaging others
- Get outdoors, even if it is cold and you only can go a short distance you deserve a cup of tea or a hot chocolate when you return
- Buy yourself flowers, it has been so long since I have done this, I got mine today a bunch of tulips and they really brighten up my room and spirit
- Have a bath
- Read a book
- Cook your favourite dinner or something that you have wanted to try
- Eat chocolate 😊
- Dance, if that is going out dancing or listening to old school music or a youtube video
- Do a journal entry about everything that is amazing about you and the life you are living
- Be kind to yourself
- Go to the gym
- Make sure to laugh
- Make a new tradition
- Do whatever you want!!
I know not everyone will find it easy on Valentine’s day as they are missing someone, wishing that they had someone, are far away from the person they want to be with or for whatever reason and that is okay. The main thing is to not let the Hallmark version of Valentine’s Day consume you and embrace the day as yours however that is.
From me, I am not defined by my status but by myself so I am saying I am single on Valentine’s Day, So What!!!
