I have a 4-year journal that I love. Each date of the year, it asks you a different question. This is then repeated each year. So, by the end of year 4, you can see how you answered questions differently or similarly. One of the questions this month was the above title; ‘On a scale of 1-10 how happy are you?’, which brought up some thoughts for me.
A simple question, but one that could be invasive at the same time, is happiness as a fixed number on the scale. There is a quote from Heath Ledger “Everyone you meet always asks if you have a career, are married, or own a house as if life was some kind of grocery list. But no one ever asks you if you are happy.” He had a very fair point to make. I have spoken before about the expectations woman and society put on themselves, but what about the wider community and the expectations of happiness that is put onto us? Or that it is not something that we talk about, that life is about the material achievements rather than happiness, which questions whether we are focusing and spending time on the importance of happiness in our own lives and others. Someone told me the other day that “depression will go away once you have food in your stomach.” As a society, some of us still believe that mental illnesses like depression are just moments of someone’s life and if we can have a higher scale on the happiness ladder, it will go away. Yes, people can have periods of depression. It does not have to be something they suffer from all the time, but it is much more than having food and being on a higher scale of happiness. I have also been told something along the lines of “but you are always so happy” when I shared with someone a struggle I was having. As if being happy solves everything!
Why do we put so much emphasis on being happy as being well? Robin Williams is a great example of this as he made so many movies to make people smile and laugh to try to help others not feel what he was feeling and to try to bring ease to his own pain.
The term happiness is used in the context of mental or emotional states, including positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. It is also used in the context of life satisfaction, subjective well-being, eudaimonia, flourishing, and well-being.
Happiness takes in a lot, but it is basically saying, our mental well-being is based on how happy we are then! I believe this to be wrong. I believe mental well-being is feeling all emotions and being able to understand and process what you are feeling at the right time for the right reasons. For example, this week I should be flying home to spend time with my family for the Christmas holidays but because of everything going on, this is not possible. Am I sad that I am missing out on my time with my family and friends? Of course. But does that make my well-being or scale of happiness lower? Yes in a way, but not in the greater scale of my life’s happiness.
Is happiness then the hope, expecting the best in the future and working to achieve it or recognition that you are happy and achieving something in your life? Do we ever stop to really consider what happiness is to ourselves, not to what we think the world sees it as or what we think it should mean but what it really means to us, and then is this measurable?
I am making a lot of different points and asking a lot of questions and not really giving any solutions, but today’s post is more about sharing my thinking and to get you thinking also. I guess my point for this post is to get you thinking; should we rate our happiness on a scale, how happy do you think you are? What does happiness really mean to you and what are small things we can do to change the perception of simply being happy to living happiness or living happily as there is a difference, and this is the part I feel we have lost. I would love to hear your thoughts about the points I have made in today’s post, so please leave some in the comment box.
