I started many posts, wanting to think of the perfect thing to write about and start the year off with. This was my first fail; that is way too much pressure that I was putting on myself. I wrote a really good one that I was like yes, this is it, to find I had already written something similar before. I wrecked my brain, spoke to a friend who said what about crying? And here we are, my now new post that is completely different from where I was going with but what I think is something that is needed right now also. The holidays can be a mixture of a lot of things, feelings, and emotions no matter where you are in your life. And for no apparent reason, it can really suck and be hard on people, but we do not tell people this or let anyone aware that our holidays were anything more than magical. This brings me to then, why crying is okay and SO important. For both men and women, it can still be seen as a sign of weakness amongst other negative ideas but this is not how we should be perceiving crying.
Over the years there has been lots of research into the psychological development of boys and girls. Boys being told that they should not cry, or that crying is for girls, or be a man! Now we know that this is so much more damaging and that crying is good for all. So much so that, there is a podcast called ‘Boys don’t cry’ to talk about mental health and other issues for men by men. They also have a female on each panel to give their opinion also.
Research has found that it is not only beneficial to cry to express your feelings, but it can also help reduce stress and anxiety. By not doing so, it can cause negative effects to your body including cardiovascular disease and other stress-related illnesses, the reason for this is that negative emotions when not expressed over time can manifest themselves physically causing such illnesses. Yes, for women, hormones can affect our crying but we have also been told that it is okay. But high reports of both genders express feeling better after crying. Every now and again, I feel a need to cry. It may be for a reason or for nothing really at all. A few days ago, I started to cry for nothing really. I lay down beside my foster dog and he started to rub my face gently with his paw. I not only felt relieved after crying, I felt loved and comforted by an animal. I thought if this is the case, that an animal can read my emotions through my tears, then it is something we should do more.
Benefits of crying:
- Lowers stress
- Relieves tension
- Expresses feelings
- Removes toxins from your body
- Embraces your emotions
- It has a soothing effect
- Aids sleep
- It is self-soothing
It can also help bring people closer in a way, it allows you to be vulnerable to yourself and others in a positive way. For men, it has the same benefits, but it also allows you to share emotions and show your vulnerability in a way like no other. It makes you more of a man rather than less of one. It can help us process what we are thinking and feeling which in turn can help us process thoughts and make better decisions. There are so many more benefits and I have just merely touched the surface of it. But it is something that is really beneficial, both for our mental and physical health, which we need to appreciate and utilise.
If you have ever watched the TV show Friends, one of the episodes is based around Chandler’s inability to cry. He watches different movies, Monica makes up stories about their future together, he tries to read books and cannot understand why he cannot. Looking at Chandler’s life, when he was growing up, he did not have emotionally available parents, which may have caused him to be this way. My point of this is that when he did get upset about the on again off again relationship of his friends Ross and Rachel, he was not able to stop crying. His emotions had become too overwhelming, which is another reason why crying is so important; to process our thoughts and feelings so they do not overwhelm us.
That being said, crying excessively may be the route of other issues and if it is paired with other things like lack of appetite and trouble sleeping then it may be worthwhile talking to a trained mental health professional. For some people who feel that they want to cry at times but are just not able to do so physically, therapy/talking through things can release it from within and help you support yourself through difficult or challenging times.
The main thing I hope you do take away from this post is that crying is good and cleansing for you. It is natural and your way of expressing your emotions and feelings. So if it is at a song, movie, TV show, a book or you just feel like crying, do it. You will feel better for sure after.
