To celebrate World Aunt Day on the 26th July, which I just found out is a thing, I am going to take a new direction with my post today. I get told a lot what a great mother I would be, as I am such a good aunt to my nieces and nephews. But being an aunt and being a mother are two very different things. Yes, there are some similarities but at the end of the day, an aunt is only a part-time/when it suits them kind of parent.
Of all the things I do in my life that I enjoy, work, travel, baking, blogging, coaching and football, being an aunt is always going to be the best. Not to boast or anything, but having an active aunt or uncle (I best not forget to mention them too) in a child’s life can be very beneficial, for many reasons.
One of my funniest and proudest aunt moments was when I dropped my four-year-old nephew to his class one morning. He started telling his friend that I was his aunty Neicie and I could make her any cake she wanted, even a unicorn cake. Yes, my nephew is using me to impress his friends. But 4-year olds do not lie, that means he thinks my cakes are awesome and that it could potentially impress his friend.
My sister always tells me that he and I have this weird unbreakable bond, and I would have to agree with her in ways. Now he is very clever and would easily drop you for a better offer from one of his other aunts or uncles but he always knows I am the one that is always around, as we live in the same country. He has been staying in my house on sleepovers since he was 1 with no issues, it is his special time where he has run of the television, we bake, we have pizza, we swim and do lots of fun stuff together.
They do not also have to be biological aunts either. I have many nieces and nephews that are my friend’s children. Apart from all the fun stuff, why are aunts and uncles so important in the development of these little humans that we have in our lives?
- They can act as a mediator for the parent and for the child.
- They have a different perspective than parents
- They can teach the children different things that parents cannot or may not have the time to
- They can have the best imaginations
- They can provide their undivided attention to them
- They can discipline in a different way to parents
- They can bring joy, fun and laughter
- They can be the trusty adult that can listen to secrets, which they do not want to tell their parents
- Let us face it, I know I do anyway, I love to spoil mine anyway that I can
- Nieces and nephews will sometimes listen to their aunt quicker, even when they say the same thing that their parent has just said
- Reinforce or support the development of values
- They have similarities to their parents that can be comforting – I know when my nephew Billy was born, my sister pointed out that he would only let me hold him a certain way other than her, she made the observation that I sound like her so he felt safe
- They know what to do most of the time to help
Basically, they are mum or dad on their best days with no worries because they do not have to be concerned about dinner, cleaning, life in general when they choose to spend time with you. They also more than likely have managed to get a good night sleep too. This can benefit little ones in so many ways, it helps them to build positive attachments and relationships with others not just their parents. They also have a positive role model to look up to. As children develop, they can look away from their parents as role models but having someone who has similar values as you can help keep these values alive in your children. As a parent, you know you have someone that they feel safe with. If for whatever reason you can’t collect them from school or have to work away for the weekend, they are okay with this person and you are happy that they are also safe with this person because they are your sibling.
I am lucky in many ways that I am firstly the youngest of my family and have a bond with each of my siblings and their children in different ways. I am lucky enough to have grown up around my two nieces and now live in the same country as two of my nephews. I have two other nephews that live in different countries and I do my best to stay in contact with them and see them when I can. I have one that just turned one this month and thankfully for video calling, I get to talk with him and play peek a boo on a regular basis. When he hears my voice on the phone, he looks for me with a big smile that melts my heart every time. He will then have a full conversation in his own language with me or talk louder than me and his mother if he feels we are talking too much. It will be a very different relationship I will have with him but still, I feel, an important one.
With all the positive things that nieces and nephews get from their aunts, there is a lot of positives an aunt gets also.
- The love and affection that only a niece and nephew can give. When I first moved to the UAE, I struggled with settling in, it was a whirlwind of changes, mishaps, and confusion on if I had made the right choice leaving a good job and moving to a new country. My saving grace was my Thursdays that I spent with my then 1-year old nephew. It gave me such life and hope and they want to be here, the arrival of his little brother nearer the end of my first year gave me two very good reasons to want to stay. I am so glad that I did, and I think this is what has built my bond with both of them. My sister laughs at me when I come to my nephew before school and ask him for a hug as I have a feeling it might be a bad day and his hug will help me. He feels so proud that he is helping me, and it does really help.
- You get to be the cool person who brings presents
- You also get to have all the best parts of being a parent minus the sleepless nights
- You get sleepovers and an excuse to make and eat cookies
- You get to watch and develop them grow knowing you have had a positive impact on their lives
So there you have it being an aunt is positive for all parties involved and is much more important than is given credit for.
