We are in the middle of what can only be described as the biggest set of changes we have all had to make to our lives. We are going through a very uncertain time and this is particularly hard for young people to understand. One way to help and support our kids is to support ourselves first. Something that I have repeated a lot this year and is particularly important to remember now; you need to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. If you do everything for everybody else first, you won’t be able to help them for long. I have put together some top tips below to help you stay balanced at this.
- Give yourself a break; do not be so hard on yourself. It is not going to go to plan, you cannot plan a certain way, especially with how younger kids are going to act. Ignore posts on social media that portray people managing everything amazingly and even have time to work out and bake bread while managing a job, family, and teaching their 3 kids. These are not real.
- Let go of the guilt, the more you think it, the more you feel it. You are one person. The more negative you let in, the more it welcomes.
- This was not a transition but an adaptation and you are doing your best with no preparation time, both physically and mentally.
- Set out a schedule and make a list of all the important things you need to achieve in a day. You will get interrupted and lose your momentum. Having stuff written down can help you regain your focus. This is the most important thing to help keep you balanced, but you will need to be flexible with it.
- If there is two of you at home and both of you are working, organise your schedule around each other so you take 40-minute blocks each so you can have uninterrupted time to do your work.
- Discuss with your boss or manager difficulties you are having and figure out how you may be able to be more flexible with some of your work.
- Work smarter not harder, so get the most out of the time you do dedicate to your work.
- Divide up your child(ren)’s work too; what they have to do today, what is important, what they need support with, what can they do independently and schedule times for this. If they are struggling to get all their tasks done, talk to their teacher and see what can be done to make it better for both of you.
- Everyone should take 5-minute breaks every hour, to stretch your legs, stand up and take your eyes off the screen.
- It is hard to switch off from work when it is at home. Make your routine around this, for example, if you are working in your bedroom, face away from your bed. If everyone is working together at the dining room table, use headphones or pick calming music at a low volume that can balance everyone. And don’t move directly from bed to work or work to bed, have even a short activity before and after your working time so your brain can switch on and off from work.
- You are not your child’s teachers, be their supporter. Their teacher has given them their work, you support them with it. They are not going to work the same way for you, especially at home. You will not be the teacher of the year, no one will be. Remember even if tasks are not finished your child is still learning every day.
- Distractions are okay. If you need to put on their favourite show for the 3rd time already in a day, as you have an important meeting, that is okay. Have designated times that no one is on their screens and spend time doing something else together.
- There will be lots of tears, allow them. If they are from you or your child, there will be those days.
- Keep active, this can be dancing with your kids around the table. It is away from screen time and getting the kids moving also. Doing mindful activities is also a good one to get into now. Family time is more important than ever.
- If possible, get them involved in your work. Then get them to teach you theirs. And if things don’t get done, that is okay, they have still learned something.
- Take time away from everything just for you. At least 1 hour a week that is time you do something for you. If this is too hard, break it down and take 10 minutes every day that you take to drink your coffee in peace. If it is possible to have a date night/30 minutes with your partner, do it. You can have a picnic in the garden or a movie night, make sure to keep the connection between you both. If for whatever reason you are apart at this time, still find some time to connect, you can watch the same movie together while on Zoom.
- Talk to others, non-work related when you can, it may be a colleague but do not let your conversation revolve around work.
- Use every part of your home to teach your kids, just because they have to upload their work online doesn’t mean they can’t use pen or paper to create what they need or use whiteboard markers on the window to work out maths problems.
- Have dinner together and eat mindfully. Ask the kids questions about the food they are eating.
- Remember this is just a phase and soon it will pass, make the most of what you can.
I hope this helped, please share any other comments of things that you have found work for you. The saying ‘we are in this together’, means we should share what works and doesn’t work for us. We are all human, we will fail and have bad days, but after every storm comes a rainbow, we just need to wait for it.
