In one of my previous post (https://livingeachmoment.com/when-life-gives-you-lemons/), I spoke about how to use the 16 Personality test or the MBTI to help you achieve more. The online version I recommend is (https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test).
Today I am going to discuss how I have gained a better understanding of myself and the way I am with people. How this has helped and supported me, in different aspects of my life and how you can do the same.
Okay, let’s start with what personality type I am. I am an Advocate (INFJ); the INFJ stands for Introverted, Intuitiveness, Feelers, Judgers. This will all make more sense the more I break it down. I make up the rarest personality type with only 1% of the population identifying with this type and I do wonder if this is why people find it hard to understand me sometimes! According to my review on the 16 personalities website, helping people is an Advocate’s passion in life. I guess I am going down the right road so far with my career.
Some of my strengths are being creative, insightful, intuitive, passionate, decisive (maybe not this one so much!). Some of my weaknesses include being sensitive, private, a perfectionist, and I burn out easily. I wouldn’t take them all as too bad, I can use this to spend some time looking at myself and consider if all of what I do to help others is to benefit me or them. Building on with my strengths and weaknesses, so in ways, I am not creative. My drawing skills stop at stick men, but a couple of years back I did some courses on cake decorating and found out, I can be really creative, my thinking can also be creative, with trying different things with students to help and support them. Personality animal is my favourite activity to get to know someone and how open they are with themselves and me. I can do some self-awareness work or work with a coach to help me figure out why I may be more sensitive and find ways to identify when I am getting closer to burn out, and, listen to my own advice of ‘putting the oxygen mask on me first’ before I attempt to put on one on everyone else.
So, in relationships, Advocates are enthusiastic and are not afraid to show love and find it hard to find their potential partner as they want someone that they can have depth and a meaningful relationship with. An Advocate can be hard to understand in relationships and take their time being picky, they also expect the other person to get all of this. This does sound very much like me and makes sense as to why I am the way I am. I am glad I am picky but I can get how all of this would be difficult for someone else to get and understand. This can help me explain who I am and where I am coming from, know when something is worth more effort or not and being able to explain to a partner who I am and why I am this way, as now I understand it better myself.
When it comes to Careers, Advocates find it hard to settle on a career early on. They may see many different paths forward and each equally appealing and heartbreaking to choose just one. They desire more a career in healthcare, such as counsellor, doctor or life coach where they can really connect with people. These are just some of them and an Advocate can find pleasure and meaning in any job if they really want to, they just have to have a purpose within it. They generally are not in the job for the money but for the greater good. I can relate to this and it helps to reassure myself that I am not hopeless when it comes to deciding my career and that as I take a plunge with coaching after years of being indecisive, it is something that works with my personality. I do really love working and connecting with people, and although I have changed by jobs many times, my work has always been focused on supporting and helping others in different ways.
Advocates are passionate and mysterious, have lots of imagination and empathy for others and want to do a lot. They will face lots of challenges within their life and may at points even question who they really are. Partly, it comes down to focusing so much time and effort on others, they forget to give themselves the time. Yes, this is something I am aware that I do, but before looking into my personality more, granted I did my first MBTI when I was studying at University, I had not looked at the impact it was having on me. I just enjoy working with people and I do get something out of it as well, I wouldn’t be passionate about others if I didn’t.
Like other Advocates, my life’s passion is connecting with other people and making them see their full potential while being fearful of our own in a way. But, now I am more aware of how my caring personality may not be what people always want or need and knowing when this is the case and how I don’t need to support everyone. I looked into ways to prevent myself from burning out, check out my previous post on dealing with burnout if it interests you (https://livingeachmoment.com/dealing-with-burnout/ ), and started looking after ‘me’ for a change. I still have my moments where I do put others needs first. I can’t say just because I have a better understanding that I have managed to change exactly who I am.
My sub-types;
- Introverted – yes I am Introverted, although I like working with people and I want to support and help others be their best. I also need time by myself to re-charge and I don’t need a big circle of close people around me.
- Intuitiveness – means I am naturally empathetic and can get what someone is saying sometimes without them saying anything or much at all.
- Feelers – I don’t always use logic and I am more concerned about how I may affect others by my actions. I am more led by my heart rather than my head.
- Judgers – I am a rule follower, I like organisation and structure.
I hope now you have a better understanding of the breakdown of personality types by looking into mine. I know I have gained a lot about who I am and how I interact with the world from looking more into my personality. If you know what someone else’s is you can use it to get a better insight into them also. I believe it is something simple and something more of us should do. We are not perfect and will clash with people, and being more self-aware will help us know that how we handle ourselves in these situations will lead to the outcome. So knowing how we may be and how best to react will always work out better, in my thinking anyway. I think this is one of the best steps you can take to becoming more self-aware. I wish you luck and hope you get as much out of reading about your personality type as I did and still do.
